Having a money conversation over the holidays probably seems like the LAST thing you want to do. But if your family members live in different cities, the holidays might be the only opportunity you have to talk in person.
Talking with family members about finances can feel awkward, and can bring up emotional issues. But it is better to talk about things early when there is still time to do something about it instead of waiting until a crisis happens.
Examples of Family Money Conversations
Some examples of money conversations you might want to have are:
- Letting family know that you might not be able to do a planned trip or activity because you are paying down debt, or saving for a goal.
- Talking about upcoming life changes like retirement, changing careers, or moving to a new city.
- Making plans for the care of an aging parent or other family member who will need support.
- Discussing end-of-life plans for properties, businesses, storage units, and other things that someone else will be inheriting.
- Talking about who would be each other’s health care power of attorney in case of an accident or medical emergency.
Holiday gatherings can also be an opportunity to talk about how you can create some positive “financial turning points” for family members.
- Is there someone who could use help on a down payment for a house, education expenses, or starting a business?
- Could a car you don’t use be a life-changing gift for someone?
- Could you go in on property, or become each other’s roommates to save on housing and be closer together?
Even just letting people know that you are there and willing to talk about financial matters can make a huge difference.
Tips for Having a Family Money Conversation
If there is a family money conversation you need to have:
- Let people know ahead of time what you want to talk about so they don’t feel blindsided. Just a simple email that says “Hey, while we’re all together I’d like to talk about …” can help people know what to expect.
- Set aside time that is separate from celebratory meals or other holiday activities so everyone can focus on what you need to discuss.
- Take notes – yes notes – so you can remember details about what is said.
- Don’t feel you have to get everything decided in one sitting. If you try to tackle too much it can be overwhelming. Give people time to think about the issue.
- If the issue is complicated, you may need to set up a meeting with a third party, like a financial advisor or lawyer, to answer everyone’s questions and provide options. The goal of the family conversation might be just setting up this meeting.
- If you don’t have a trusting relationship with your family members, find someone you do trust that you can talk to separately who can encourage you to get done what needs to be done.
Money conversations are not always easy, but getting things out in the open can create a better outcome for everyone. The alternative is waiting until there is a crisis and then having limited options because nothing was set up, or being forced into a quick decision that could cause lasting damage to family relations.
Want help getting a money conversation started? Money conversations are what I do! I offer a free, 30-minute introductory video call, affordable rates, and up-front pricing. Schedule a call with me today and let’s talk.
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