We are going through some hard times right now. Our political system seems to be in constant chaos, economic indicators are bad, and every day the news seems both frightening and surreal.
And against this backdrop we all have our own personal struggles and challenges. I see this with my coaching clients, who are often dealing with financial challenges while also managing medical issues, worries about job loss, and caring for other family members.
So I thought this might be a good time to share something that I read back when I was first thinking of becoming a financial coach that really stood out to me.
It is from a book called “Managing Debt for Dummies” by John Ventura and Mary Reed. I’ve always liked the no-nonsense approach of the “For Dummies” books, and this one is especially good. I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with debt. But there was one section in particular that I never forgot. It was called “Adopting an Attitude for Success.”
The authors talked about how developing a positive, can-do attitude can be the difference between success and failure when you are dealing with a long-term problem like debt. They included a list of tips that really impressed me, and that I think is a great list for almost any difficult period.
So I’m going to share an adapted version of that list along with some thoughts of my own. I hope that it will inspire you, and help you get through whatever tough time you might be facing.
Tips for Getting Through Hard Times
1. Draw strength from tough challenges you’ve faced in the past.
Think about another tough challenge that you faced. How did you get through it? What are some lessons you can draw on to get through what’s facing you now? Remind yourself that you had success before, and can do it again!
2. If you believe that you are largely responsible for the current problem, don’t beat yourself up about what you did or didn’t do.
You can’t change what happened, and dwelling on the past will make it that much harder to move forward. Learn from your mistakes, then let it go. Get clear on the current situation, and then figure out where you need to go from here.
3. Negative attitudes are contagious—model a good attitude for other family members.
If you act down and depressed all the time, your attitude is likely to spread to everyone else in the household. If there are children around, remember that they are observing how you behave in the face of adversity, so set a good example.
4. Remember that you are not the only person who has gone through this.
Our problems feel unique to us, but the reality is that many people have gone through something similar, and found a way to cope. If they did it, you can do it too!
5. Get inspired by reading a book or watching a TV show about someone who had to overcome something difficult.
You may be finding it difficult to find that can-do attitude … so borrow it from someone else. Let the emotions of the book or TV show sweep you up. Let their enthusiasm, grit, and positive energy become yours!
There are many stories like that out there, but for a few suggestions how about Hellen Keller, Stephen Hawking, Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Malala Yousafzai, and Simone Biles.
6. Motivate yourself by visualizing your future.
Reminding yourself what you are working towards, and why you even want this goal, is one of the strategies that I use with my coaching clients. You have to know your “why!”
Why are you doing this? What will life be like when you have reached your goal? Be specific! Visualize all the things you will be able to do when you finally get there.
7. Don’t stay silent about your troubles.
You may find others among your friends and family have had trouble too and can offer support. If you are trying to improve your finances, being open with people can help them understand why you might need to say no to certain expenses. And being honest about your situation to those close to you, instead of hiding what is going on, can also be a huge weight off your shoulders.
If you find that some of your friends and family members are going through the same difficulties, create a support group where you can share ideas and encouragement, and celebrate successes.
8. Boost your self-confidence by educating yourself on the issue.
Take a class, get a book, or read an article, and learn more about whatever problem is confronting you. Make yourself an expert on the issue, or learn about how someone else handled this problem. Educating yourself will not only help you feel more confident, but can help you more successfully reach a solution.
9. Be realistic about how long it will really take.
There are very few quick fixes in this world! Many problems, debt pay-off being one of them, require consistent, long-term action. Being realistic about the time frame can help set you up for success.
Some things take a long time to happen, or are just part of life, and we need to accept that. I always say to my coaching clients that personal finance is a life-long journey … and it is!
10. Re-think your definition of success.
Sometimes goals have to change, and that can be okay. That doesn’t mean giving up on your dreams, but modifying them to something more achievable might be the difference between reaching them and just ending up frustrated.
11. Stop making excuses–you can’t afford it!
Even if you somehow had an unlimited budget, none of us have unlimited time! We really CAN’T afford to keep making excuses, because time keeps ticking. When it comes to finances that can be even more true, because the longer you make excuses, the more interest you pay on your debt, the more money you lose out on for retirement, the less time you have to save for that vacation/wedding/home, and on and on.
So stop making excuses and get started!
12. Celebrate each success.
It is far too easy to not recognize the progress we have already made. Whatever goal you are working towards, or problem you are trying to solve, I encourage you right now to make a list of everything you have accomplished so far. When you see it all together you will probably be amazed at how much you have done!
When you have a long way to go, celebrating the milestones along the way can help keep you motivated. And of you are looking for some ways to celebrate that won’t break the bank, check out my article about “22 Ways To Celebrate Milestones for Free or Cheap.”
13. Stay active–exercise can fight depression.
Exercise can get rid of stress, frustration, and negative thoughts. If you can motivate yourself to even just get up off the couch and walk around a bit, that can help! If you can get outside, or do an activity that includes socializing with other people, even better. Find fitness classes in your area, join a walking or running club, find a sports team–whatever gets you out and moving.
14. Find things to laugh about.
Funny movies, joke books, your favorite sit-com, or time spent with a witty friend, can all be priceless. I keep a list on my phone of videos that make me laugh for when I need a pick-me-up. Also, can you bring laughter to someone else’s life? Invite a friend over to watch a funny movie, or go out to a comedy show together.
15. Do something fun on the cheap.
You don’t have to break the bank to do something fun and take your mind of things for a bit. Here in Chicago there are so many free and cheap things to do that it almost seems a shame to pay for entertainment. But you can also make your own fun. Invite someone over to bake cookies, play a game, do a craft project, go to the park, garden, or just to have a chat.
16. Count your blessings.
You will always be more successful at something if you come from a place of positivity, instead of from negativity and dread. “Counting your blessings” i.e. practicing gratitude can help you get to that place of positivity.
There is real science behind this! Mindfulness practices, like gratitude and meditation, can activate the prefrontal cortex that is responsible for planning, decision-making, and concentration. And they can shrink the right amygdala which is responsible for fear and negative emotions.
17. Accept what you can’t change.
Ultimately, the only thing you can change is your own actions. We can try to change other people. We can try to change the systems that make up our world. But these things aren’t always possible, and sometimes we have to accept that and move on.
18. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
If you are facing financial problems, financial coaching can help, but there are also coaches out there for almost every type of situation. Support groups can also be a huge help. When I was starting my coaching business I got lots of assistance from a coaches group that I found on Facebook. There are support groups for caregivers, for people who have lost a spouse, for anxiety and depression, ADHD, Debtors Anonymous, and more.
For counseling or therapy, start by finding out if your workplace offers any kind of supportive services, or if it might be covered through your health insurance. If not, the non-profit group Mental Health America, can be a resource for finding affordable mental health services in your area. I will also say that I once got a Groupon for online therapy, and it really helped me get through a personal problem. So that can be a resource as well!
Final Thoughts
I hope that this list has helped you, or even just given you some food for thought. Remember, you are not alone, and help can help!
If you are interested in learning more about what I offer as a personal financial coach, you can visit my website, or or set up a free 30-minute initial consultation. All my coaching is over video calls, and I do not sell any sort of financial products. Just practical solutions to help put you in control of your finances!
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